Julian
by ohEvangeline
Summary: She breathed deeply once. Twice. And when she opened her eyes, all she could see was him.
1. Look and See

A/N: So, yes, I'm starting a new WIP. But I promise, I'll work on my others too :D A big thanks to Georgia, Jack, and Molly over at TGS for helping me name this. Also to Georgia, Melissa, Melanie, Katrina, Kaity, and Lucy for helping me give Lucy a middle name. Thank you to Kaity and Georgia for kicking me to write this :) I love you guys!

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"Lucy!" Lucy cursed under breath when she heard the voice, running down the hall after her. "Lucy Marie, I know you can hear me!"

"Damn it." Lucy swore once more, acknowledging that she could not avoid this confrontation any longer. If only what's-his-name hadn't ousted her from that hiding spot she'd have been able to put it off for at least another evening.

"What do you want, Forbes?" Melissa Forbes, Lucy's ex-best friend came to a stop in front of the seething blonde.

"I just want to talk Lucy."

"I really don't think we have anything to talk about." Lucy flung her long blonde hair over her shoulder, settling into a pose she'd often seen her sister strike when getting ready to tear someone apart. Of course, Molly was four inches taller and had gotten both the Weasley's flaming hair and slender figure. She looked like a slightly taller, younger, version of their Aunt Ginny. Lucy had inherited every single trait from her mother, Audrey. Blonde hair, short stature, and the nicest comparison anyone had ever given her about her looks was _pixie like_. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Come on Lucy, just let me explain."

"I don't want to hear it, Forbes."

"Are you really going to throw away nearly seven years of friendship over one little mistake?" Melissa smiled a little and put a hand on one hip, as if Lucy was being silly and really ought to just come around at anytime. Lucy was not impressed.

"_I_ am not the one throwing anything away, Forbes. This is entirely _your_ fault."

"Well, but, Lucy. Look, I'm sorry okay. It was a mistake, I never meant for it to happen."

"You mean you never meant for me to find out." Lucy bit off her hard words with plenty of venom. She clenched her hands into fists, her patience wearing thin.

"Don't you think you're being just a little bit dramatic?" Melissa asked, still trying to lighten the tension that was steadily thickening between them, threatening to boil over from the heat of Lucy's anger. She may not have gotten the Weasley looks, but she certainly had the temper.

"No."

"Okay." She drew out the 'o' and the 'a', grating on Lucy's fragile self control. "Well, can we just talk?"

"Go ahead, talk." Lucy gestured wildly with one arm, nearly hysterical with the fury boiling in her veins. She wanted to scream, and cry, and hit Melissa Forbes in the face with the punch Uncle Charlie had taught her when her parents weren't looking.

"It's not worth ruining our friendship over, okay? I'll explain."

Lucy cut her off them. "Explain what, exactly, Forbes? How you _accidentally_ fucked my boyfriend? Twice!"

"I was drunk Lucy!"

"Yeah, the _first_ time." Her voice crescendoed with each syllable, rising in pitch until her voice was straining.

"Calm down Lucy." Melissa said, frowning a bit.

"Don't tell me to calm down. You _bitch._ I can't believe you did this to me." Melissa began to get angry in return, crossing her arms and glaring back at Lucy.

"I did you a _favour_."

"By playing whore with my boyfriend? How is that doing me a favour?"

"He would have cheated on you and – "

"He did cheat on me you idiot! With you!"

"Hey Weasley!" Lucy turned to look at who was coming. It was that boy, the one who'd disturbed her hiding spot. She had been tucked into a niche, in an out of the way corridor, staring out the window when he'd come up and scared her. After insisting it was her own fault she'd been scared, he'd had the nerve to get annoyed with her and declare it _his_ spot. Lucy had been none too pleased with that estimation. He'd told her it was where he came to be alone. Of course, she had employed another of her mother's faults and blurted exactly what she was thinking without stopping to process how rude it was first. After asking him, well wasn't he always alone?, she had left with a blazing red face and then Forbes had found her.

"Oh – er – " He stopped short when he saw the two girls in a fighting stance. Lucy took the moment to once again appreciate his visual virtues. He might be the quiet boy in the back of the class who rarely spoke and she had always thought maybe a bit odd, but he was no sore sight.

"Go away Nott." Melissa growled. "This is not the time."

'I knew I had heard his name.' Lucy thought. The last name was now recalled to memory but she wasn't sure she had ever heard his first name. All she knew was that he was a Ravenclaw, like her cousin Louis, with whom he was presumably at least familiar acquaintances if not nearly friends.

"You forgot your bag." Giving Melissa one raised eye brow, he turned back to Lucy.

"Oh, thank you." She replied, taking the bag from him that she'd apparently left sitting on the window seat in _his_ spot.

"Now go away, Nott." Melissa said again, glaring at him.

"What," taunted Lucy, "don't want him to hear what a sleaze you are?"

"Lucy!" Melissa exclaimed, staring in shock at the wrathful girl.

"I already knew." Nott said, then turned red and backed away as both girls turned on him, Melissa looking as if she wished to tear his eyes out.

"What?" They chorused. Melissa in anger, Lucy in confusion.

"Well," he said uncomfortably, "everyone knows she's been shagging Long for the last month. And cheated on Underhill with Manders."

"What?" Lucy said again, whirling to face Melissa once more, her outright anger replaced by shock and hurt. "You told me it only happened twice." Melissa refused to look at her.

"Yeah," Nott continued. "It's why he had that black eye last week. Louis found out and told him to straighten up." Lucy thought fondly of her cousin and, for once, his overly protective tendencies as well.

"You cow." Lucy hissed.

"Uh, sorry." Nott said, looking with wide eyes once more as Lucy advanced on Melissa as if to claw at her. "I thought you knew."

"Apparently," she growled through her grinding teeth, "there was more to the story."

"Oh fine!" Melissa said angrily. "But you ought to thank me. I saved you from finding out the hard way."

"How is there an easy way to find out that your used-to-be-best friend is fucking your boyfriend? You slimy, lying, two faced _bitch_. Get the hell out of my life."

"Lucy – " Melissa implored, looking a little scared, as if just realizing that she'd really screwed up this time and that there was no repairing this gap.

Lucy just held up a silencing hand in her face. "Come on," she said to Nott. "We're getting out of here." Grabbing his arm, she dragged him away. He said nothing to the still blazingly angry blonde as she took him up three flights of stairs and down four different corridors before finally coming to a stop, once more in an out-of-the-way area of the castle. Her brown eyes, the only physical Weasley trait she possessed, were still burning with anger, but the pain was seeping through as well now.

"I'm sorry." She said, when they came to a stop. "I didn't mean to abduct you like that."

"It's okay. Look, about your friend – "

"Ex. Ex friend."

"I really thought you knew. I thought that was what the argument was about."

"It was. I just didn't know the whole story." She smiled then, a little crazily, on the verge of losing any shred of control she had left. "Did you see her face? I've never gone off on someone like that. Always wanted to, a bit, you know? No reason though. Never had the opportunity. I mean it's not every day you find out your bitch ex-friend was sleeping with your bastard of an ex-boyfriend. Of course, I thought he was quite lovely. You know? But I really think I did well, told her right off."

Then she burst into tears.

Nott, rather than awkwardly patting her shoulder or doing his best to escape, instead offered her a handkerchief from his pocket to mop her eyes with. Great sobs wracked her body and she didn't think twice when he drew her into his embrace. She clung to him, someone she barely knew, the only one she had. Lucy was a nice enough girl, but Melissa had been the only close friend she had. She liked having a small circle, but where was she to turn when betrayal came from within? As if he were the only one left in her crumbling world, Lucy held on to him tightly, to keep him close.

When at last the sobs subsided some time later, mascara was running down her face and staining the handkerchief he'd given her. Her eyes were red and swollen, her face blotchy. One part of her mind thought that she really wished she were like Molly, who could cry buckets of perfect pearl tears and still look beautiful. The rest of her mind was throbbing dully in agony. And a bit of her was embarrassed to have dumped on this boy she barely knew.

"I'm so-sorry." She hiccupped. "I didn't mean to – "

"No, no, it's okay. I understand."

"You have a handkerchief? I don't think I know anyone our age who just randomly has a handkerchief to give a sobbing girl."

He laughed a little. "Yeah, my dad is kind of old fashioned. I guess I just picked up the habit from him."

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome. Keep it." He said, when she offered it back to him.

They stood in silence then, the quiet stretching out between them. Lucy was staring at the floor, a little embarrassed, and reluctant to show off her tear stained, blotchy face. She looked at her scuffed ballet flats, facing his polished loafers. One of her socks was sagging and her skirt was terribly wrinkled; his pressed trousers fell in a precise line. In the stillness, her heavy breathing echoed down the abandoned hall and she could nearly hear her pounding heart, racing with an overload of emotion.

"I'm sorry, Lucy." He spoke at last, his voice abrupt in the silence. "He should never have done that to you."

One shoulder rose and fell in a movement meant to show that she really was fine, though they both knew that was a lie. "It's okay. I'm better off."

"You are better without him, but not better off after what he did to you. It was inexcusable. It was wrong."

"Thank you." She looked up then, a sad half smile on her lips, and for the first time, she really saw him. During the last six and a half years, he'd always been the quiet boy to slip into the back row just before class started and leave before anyone else. Before today, she wasn't sure she'd ever heard him speak. He was a shadow in the corner, she knew he was there but never really looked at him to see him. Ebony hair fell like a raven's wing over one cheekbone, the only mussed thing about him. Intense grey eyes, grey like the mist over the Black Lake on a winter's morning, looked down at her. His skin was pale, so pale, as if he'd never seen the sun. Full pink lips, delicate as a blushing rose bloom and looking just as soft, lifted in an almost smile. But his eyes, they grabbed her and drew her in.

Lucy had always scoffed at the idea of drowning in someone's gaze, but she could get lost here. Quite happily, she would walk into that gaze and reside there, where it was cool and wrapped around her gently. He held her still with nothing but his eyes for several long moments, another silence that felt full of promise. Tentatively, he reached out one hand tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers resting lightly on her skin, just in front of her ear, on the edge of her cheek.

"You are beautiful." He told her. "I've seen you, and you're better than them and their petty lives."

She drank in his words, wishing to believe everything he said. She was drowning in her angst and he threw her a lifeline, then slowly reeled her in, lifting her up. He was her saviour, she who dreamed of knights and castles in the clouds. With his pretty words, he charged the fortress and rescued her from her distress.

"Someone should give you castles. Not bouquets but gardens of roses." His soft voice sang to her heart and she leaned into him. Her breath caught in her throat, amplified in the stillness surrounding them. All she could feel were his fingertips, playing a soft melody across her skin. All she could see were his eyes, a deep gaze holding her own.

"I don't know your first name." She whispered. "I should, I'm sorry."

His fingertips threaded into her hair. "Julian. My first name is Julian."

Lucy's broken heart beat erratically, she could feel it mending itself together. The pieces melded whole under Julian's gaze. Her eyes slipped closed as his head bent toward her. A breath crossed her own, a touch of lips so soft it may not have happened. She breathed deeply once. Twice. And when she opened her eyes all she could see was him.

_Julian._


	2. Fall and Follow

A/N: After a month of writer's block, I am finally posting again! This chapter is for my dear Rachel, who told me to just write! And this is the result. Enjoy :)

~Shiloh

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Her foot bounced with impatient frustration. She irritably shoved a lock of hair over her shoulder, out of her line of vision, but it didn't seem to help. The words on the page still swam out of her understanding. Her mind felt full, overflowing and ready to burst. She didn't think she could fit one single more fact into memory. With a quiet groan, she closed her eyes and let her head drop to rest on the text.

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way." She whipped her head around suddenly, her hair catching pages and turning them, effectively losing the theory she'd been studying. Her startled gaze melted into shyer pose when she saw the speaker.

"What?" She asked him, puzzled, as the speaker leaned against the table, his hip beside her book.

"Learning. I'm fairly certain it doesn't work that way." Julian gave her a small, slightly lopsided smile when she continued to stare at him, bewildered. "Lying your head against the information does not transfer it effectively. Visual process only, unfortunately."

Lucy laughed softly. "I'll have to remember that in the future."

"What are you doing right now?"

She stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to say he was joking. He said nothing, just looking at her impatiently, waiting for an answer. "I'm studying." She said slowly. "Like everyone else is. Well, except for you."

"You're not studying, you were done studying when I got here." She shrugged, knowing he was right. "Come with me."

"What?"

"It's a fairly simple concept. Come with me." He gave her a lazy smile, his eyes warm and gentle. She remembered the first time she'd gazed into them, thinking she could stay there forever where it was cool and comforting. Today they were the colour of a lake in the height of summer, warmed by the sun and inviting. The corners crinkled when she didn't respond, lost to her thoughts.

"Well?"

Lucy blushed, looking quickly back to the book in front of her. "I need to study, Julian." He reached over and shut the book, resting his hand on it to keep it closed. She looked up at him again, seeing the easy expression on his face, his smile growing just a little more. His eyes danced a little with lazy invitation.

"One afternoon Lucy. Just give me one, I'll study with you later." He saw her hesitation, looking around the library, thinking she really ought to stay, but really wanting to go. "Come with me." He said again, his voice dropping to a whisper. She sighed and he knew he had won.

She started packing up her things. "Alright. Can I just drop these off in my room first?"

"Fine. Let's go." Julian waited impatiently outside the Hufflepuff common room. Lucy ran quickly inside and down the hall to her bedroom. She tossed her bag onto the bed and threw her wardrobe open, pulling out a pair of her comfortably worn denims. Pulling off her school shirt and tie, she tugged a soft cotton tee-shirt over her head. Combing her fingers through her hair and pulling it back with an elastic, she headed out of the room.

"Hey, Lucy." Hailey, one of her roommates whom she'd always been friendly with, if not friends.

"Hi, Hailey."

"Where are you in such a hurry to get to?" She smiled with the question and Lucy couldn't help but smile back.

"Julian is waiting for me."

"Julian? That Nott guy?"

"That's him." Lucy said, smiling a little brighter and moving to continue on past Hailey.

"Are you two together?"

"Not really." Hailey nodded.

"He always seemed like such a lone type. I don't remember ever seeing him with anyone before."

Lucy shrugged. "He's not overly social. He's a friend of Louis'." She said by way of explanation. "I'm sorry, I really should get going, he's waiting for me."

"Yeah, of course. We should hang out sometime Lucy. I don't know why we've never before, really. I guess because you and Melissa were always together." She wrinkled her nose. "She and I never really clicked."

"Sure, I'd love that." Lucy blinked for a moment as Hailey turned and entered their room. As she headed back down the hallway, through the common room and towards Julian at the end of the corridor, she wondered too. Looking back, Hailey just seemed the more likely candidate. Melissa hated her though, and she supposed that's why they were never close.

"What took so long?" Julian frowned a little, taking her hand and steering her toward the main hall. Lucy frowned too.

"Hailey stopped to talk for a minute. I couldn't just ignore her." Julian eyed her for a moment before shrugging, his eyes clearing and returning to the light sparkle of before.

"Whatever, I was just waiting is all. This way." He turned right when they exited the castle, heading away from the usual routes.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to show you something." He refused to elaborate as they walked across the lawn, past the edge of the Quidditch pitch and toward the forest. Lucy looked over her shoulder when they entered the forest, stopping. Their hands fell apart as Julian turned to look at her.

"Julian? You know, this is called the Forbidden Forest for a reason, right? It's forbidden."

"It's fine, Lucy. Just come on."

"But –"

"Lucy!" He exclaimed with exasperation. "I've never gotten caught; no one ever comes over here, not even Hagrid. Will you just trust me?"

Lucy looked over her shoulder again, but saw no one. She held out her hand, letting Julian begin pulling her forward once more. They walked for ten minutes, until the castle was out of view and there were no sounds except their footfalls and the chirping of birds. At last, he pulled her through a thick wall of brush and into a small open space.

It wasn't big enough to call a clearing, but it was clear of bushes and tangled trees. Lucy thought it to be maybe twenty feet across, in an irregularly shaped circle. The sunlight filtered down, warming the tiny hollow. Flowers bloomed along the edge in bright clumps and daisies were scattered through the grass. Julian went up to a tall oak that stretched high above as if watching over the small, peaceful place. He reached his arm into a large hollow and pulled out a blanket.

"What is this place?" Lucy asked, watching as he spread the blanket on the forest floor.

"I found it in second year. I come here sometimes, to think. To get away for a while."

"You seem to have lots of 'places'." Lucy remarked drily, thinking of that day, three weeks ago, when he'd found her crying.

He gave her a small smile, patting the space on the blanket next to him. "Sit down." Lucy folded herself onto the blanket next to him.

"Why show me this?" She asked, watching him curiously. "I mean, it's your secret."

"And now it's yours." He smiled. "I thought you might like it."

"I do. I love it." She looked around the little secret place. "But why me?" When he didn't answer, she looked over at him. He was staring at her with a look she couldn't interpret. "What?"

"You're so beautiful. It's not because your hair looks like soft sunlight, or that your eyes are warm like honey, or that your skin is as soft as satin." Lucy blushed bright pink. "You glow. You're so delicate and fragile, I feel like I could break you."

Fragile? Delicate? He sounded like he was describing Victoire. Lucy couldn't help the flaming blush spreading across her cheeks. She had never had someone say something like this to her. She was 'cute' or 'sweet', but never 'beautiful', 'delicat', or 'soft'.

"I wanted to kill Long when I saw you crying that day. I wanted to kill him when I saw you together, before that. He wasn't good enough for you, I knew that and I didn't even know you. I want to be with you Lucy. That's why I brought you here."

He leaned forward, his hand cupping her cheek. Slowly he leaned forward, watching her eyes for any sign that he should stop. But Lucy couldn't stop him, didn't even want to try. She put all her concentration into just breathing. Then he was kissing her and she forgot to. His lips were warm, exactly like she remembered. Soft and full beneath her own.

When the final bell rang, Julian was out of his seat like a shot, ready to be gone. He'd been jumpy all day, his foot constantly bouncing. A frown had creased his brow for most of the day too and Lucy knew it was just one of those days. He looked impatient still. Ever since that day, two months before, when he'd saved her from her misery, she'd learned to accustom herself to his moods. As she packed her books up, he looked around the room as if waiting for someone. Watching for their arrival. She knew there was no one, he was simply in that sort of mood today. Or just now.

As soon as she was done, he grabbed her hand and rushed out the door. He gave no explanation as they walked. Lucy glanced over her shoulder and waved to Hailey, who looked bemused. She waved, moving in the opposite direction toward their dormitory. The two girls had become fairly good friends over the last month.

"Where are we going?" Lucy stumbled a little, struggling to keep up with his longer stride. He frowned, lifting her bag off of her shoulder and slowing his pace a little, but not answering. She didn't ask again. Supper began in thirty minutes and she hoped he remembered. Sometimes he didn't.

Julian was intense. Lucy loved that about him, he was Jason Long's opposite in so many ways. He wasn't popular, but well liked enough. Had never dated much, wasn't a terminal flirt. He was intelligent, very intelligent. Lucy knew that even if he never studied, he would do better on his exams than she. But his personality was intense and his moods varied. Some days he couldn't stop smiling and laughing, other days she was sure he would snap at the slightest provocation. But never at her, never towards her. He treated Lucy with a surprising gentleness that even Louis couldn't disapprove of.

This evening he was jumpy and impatient. He pulled Lucy along through the corridors quickly, away from the high traffic areas and up. When at last they came to a stop, Lucy found herself on a tower overlooking the quidditch pitch. Looking around, she realized they were on the corner of the castle diagonal to the Astronomy tower. The tower looked seldom used and almost abandoned.

"Why here?"

"Just needed to think." Lucy nodded, brushing off the bench that ran around the tower to clear a place to sit. Julian often got away to think. It was how they had met; he revealed later he went to that spot to think. He liked to be alone, left by himself for long periods of time. She was the only one that he let into this world of his. Louis had told her that he was a very private person, not a close friend to anyone. That he'd been there when Louis had it out with Long was unusual. He'd heard Louis telling Gabe Walters about it and had offered to go along with. Lucy couldn't figure out why either, but she didn't mind.

She watched as Julian paced in the small area, running his hands through his hair repeatedly until it was a hopeless messy tangle. He fumbled in his pocket and drew out a package of cigarettes. Lucy wrinkled her nose but said nothing as he lit it and took a long drag. She didn't like the habit, but it seemed to help him control his thoughts.

"Julian?" He had slowed finally, and was looking out over the Quidditch pitch. He didn't turn to look at her, merely inclined his head slightly in her direction to let her know he acknowledged her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Lucy." His answer was short and she wished she hadn't spoken.

"Okay." She answered softly. Pulling her feet up onto the bench she crossed her arms over her knees and rested her chin on them. It was getting chillier as the sun disappeared, and this side of the castle got less light in the evening anyway, so she'd been sitting in shadows for some time.

He must have heard the meek apology in her voice with that one word, for Julian turned a bit more toward her. His movement was jerky, as if his thoughts weren't in line with his actions. Lucy shut her eyes and said nothing more, letting him be. There were demons he never shared, but she could see them sometimes, when his guard was down. And so rarely it was. Sometimes though, shadows touched the depths of his eyes.

"Lucy –" He stamped out his cigarette and rubbed furiously at his head, tugging at his hair. Abruptly he whirled to face her. She sat up, looking at him as he looked at her. His thoughts warred across his face, but at last he settled on a sort of sorrowful tenderness. With three long strides he was by her side, sitting beside her. He sat nearly sideways on the bench so that he could pull her into his chest. Lucy settled into the now familiar pose, head curled beneath his chin, cheek pressed against his heart, letting him cradle her.

"You're so cold." He whispered, his lips on her hair. His arms tightened around her as she pressed closer to him.

"Not anymore."

She wasn't sure how long they sat in that position before he bent his head to kiss her. Her head fell back as she offered up her lips to him. It was tender at first, but grew in urgency. His kisses were as varied as his moods, at times tender and soft, like the first time she'd kissed him, and again in the small hollow they visited often. Other times, like tonight, she was sure he was going to consume her. Julian held her tightly, crushing her against him as if he'd mould her to himself and make them one. Lucy's hands clutched the front of his shirt, giving herself up to it.

At last he pulled back, both breathing heavily, fighting for the air they'd lost. They sat in silence, he held her gaze with his own and she refused to look away. Emotions flew across his face, dark and troublesome. They gazed into each other's eyes, the classic lovers' pose. Neither smiled. She could see the shadows in his eyes, but did not look away.

"Lucy," he said, so softly it was a breath. "Lucy." She slowly reached one hand up, brushing her fingertips across his cheek, pushing into his hair, letting them rest behind his ear. His gaze grew pointed, claiming her for his own. She felt a thrill run up her spine. Claimed, possessed, belonging to him and him alone. His look was strong, heavy, but she refused to fall away from him.

Slowly, he nodded. Something sealed between them. Lucy wasn't sure what she'd just done, but as he kissed her again, she ceased to care.


End file.
